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Karen Maloy's avatar

I laughed out loud reading this entire piece and it is so spot on. My husband has made fun of how I do a Duck Face when I look in the mirror - I never noticed, but apparently I am *always* sucking in my cheeks. A habit I picked up very young, like before I got to preschool, because even then - like you MIL - the need to be skinny was baked into the mashed potatoes I smashed into my face sitting in my high chair. I try very hard not to judge people who are proactive against aging. BUT - there is a real cognitive dissonance that occurs when I see a disorganized face that has been beaten into submission with botox and surgeries. It's disorienting. The MOST disorienting is when people fuck with their eyes, Jen. I get this weird feeling like there's something wrong and can't put my finger on what it is, and then I realize it's that they've had an eye lift. Embrace the hoods! They're there for your PROTECTION. By the time we hit 50, we've seen some shit. No need to see any more.

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Jen Gilman Porat's avatar

We’ve seen some shit! No need to see any more! Best response—I love it—thank you!

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Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

The fifties are sort of like adolescence - we transition into older women. Like adolescence it can be rough. I guarantee you’ll look back on yourself in your fifties with amazement at your beauty. In our sixties we hit our stride, come into our own - full expression. I just turned 70 and it’s the first year I’ve been concerned about my looks - it’s the sagging face that gets me - the jowls not the wrinkles which aren’t bad. I too judged older women in my twenties. Ha! Great piece, Jen!

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Jen Gilman Porat's avatar

I love the comparison to adolescence and often say this is the middle-aged version of puberty!

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Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

It is!!!

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Jen Gilman Porat's avatar

Thanks, Kelly ;-)

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Donna Druchunas's avatar

Don’t care if I am now ugly. Pfffft. And FU to anyone who thinks old women are ugly.

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S. Jane Kim's avatar

Thanks so much for writing! I really enjoyed reading this.

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Jen Gilman Porat's avatar

Thank you 😊

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