Is Middle Age the New Puberty?
Why didn't anyone prepare us for this?
I wasn’t planning to write about body hair but my husband, Tomer, asked if I’d please write a post about the sudden change to his appearance. He needs help. I don’t typically take on personal requests in my writing, but how can I say no to my partner of over 30 years?
Tomer’s problem: He’s suddenly sprouted thick white hairs from his neck. They are so robust that even a razor won’t shave them off.
We’re wondering if this is a post-operative side effect from his recent open heart surgery? Or is the timing coincidental and it’s simply a fact of age? (He’s 52. Holy Shit.)
I’m including screenshots of his text messages so you can read about it in his own words:
My friends, it is impossible to capture these hairs with a decent picture. Maybe I’m not a good enough photographer, or maybe I just can’t get the lighting right, but in lieu of an image, I will describe what I see.
The hairs look shiny and white and fat enough to floss the teeth of a troll. Not that trolls do dental hygiene, but if Shrek wanted a cleaning, we could pluck a hair and make it happen.
In case anyone wonders if I’m looking for free medical advice—be assured that your instinct is spot on. We are totally looking for free advice. It’s not about the money. It’s about saving the time spent seeking medical opinions.
I’ve already consulted AI, but the results didn’t apply to Tomer.
I know he should probably meet with our internist. I bet he’ll get sent through the specialist cycle: dermatology and endocrinology and so forth; hopefully, it will be nothing but age showing up to conquer his youth. But while we’re waiting, please do share any professional knowledge or personal experience that might expedite our solving of this mystery.
For now, we’re happy to assume this is nothing but a silly and benign woe of middle age.
I feel like aging is the new puberty, except when we were pre-teens, they taught us what to expect. Remember how our parents had to sign a permission slip so that we could learn about menstruation and nocturnal emissions? Where is the middle-aged educational equivalent? Must we join AARP to navigate this journey with less shock?
Thanks!
xoxo Jen xoxo
I’m no medical expert and don’t want to steer you wrong, but by way of comfort, I can say that for me, fifty has brought with it some unwanted, but benign changes. I’ve embraced the term “manscaping.”
I was raised in a pretty oppressive/repressed family where we didn't even talk about puberty.
Since then, my mom has had her own "becoming" and now is the true free spirit she was meant to be (correlation isn't causation but I will say it happened around menopause).
I now make her talk about growing older *all the time*. She's in her mid-60's. But the communal deprivation is REAL and I feel like as much as I love her knowledge, I'm missing the hive mind.
For my body, my soul, my parenting, my marriage, my life atlarge.